We have twin girls that are 9 months old now. From the beginning it seemed like Sharon had an instant bond with Dad while Kathryn picked me. They were in the NICU for 12 days and I spent time there feeding and holding them as much as possible every day. Dad was working and would spend evenings with them as often as possible. So we didn't really pick a baby for Dad and one for me - it was more that the babies picked us.
For baths, we make an assembly line: We undress one baby and get her in the bath and one of us bathes her while the other one is being undressed. Then we switch them around and whoever was undressing them get to redress them.
Feeding times are hectic sometimes if only one of us can be there. When this happens, we put both babies in the highchairs and alternate bites. Bottles are usually given with the babies laying in Boppy pillows with one on each side of me. (I know that everyone says not to lay a baby down and prop up a bottle, but they didn't have two babies to feed at the same time, and feeding one while the other is crying for a bottle just doesn't work for us.)
The only problem that we have had is balancing our time between the two of them, because Sharon still mostly wants Dad with an occasional bout of needing Mommy while Kathryn doesn't want Dad at all if she knows that I am in the house.
Mom to Sharon and Kathryn
Asking for Help
I would say that the best thing you can do when you have multiples, especially when you are clueless first-time parents, is to surround yourself with a support system. My family is very blessed to be part of an incredible church, so we had people here constantly for about two months. We even had some friends and family that would stay late in the night so that we could sleep for longer than an hour at a time. And of course we had food brought to our house, so eating good was no problem. But when the fresh food stopped coming, we had lots of frozen meals that were prepared while I was still pregnant so we were still free from cooking for a while longer.
As far as feeding, bath time, etc., we do everything together. If you keep your multiples on different schedules, you might not ever have any free time to sleep, eat, sleep, clean, or sleep! My husband I just tag-teamed – still do – all the duties. We find that our individual time with each comes while we are playing. It has worked out great for us and will only get easier as they get older.
Mom to 20-month-old twins
The first year of my twins life I was a single mother, and the easiest thing for me was to do everything at the same time: feed, baths, sleep, changings, everything. It was easiest if I did it alone, and if I ever have another set of twins I wouldn’t do it differently even though my hubby would be here.
Mom to identical twin sons
I don't think I could live without 2 bouncy seats! I try to keep my twins on the same schedule, so when I am by myself they eat in them.
Mom to Scout and Lexi
We kept our twins on the same schedule mostly. If they were due for a bottle and I was home alone, I would give first to the baby that was fussing. Once in awhile, I had to feed them both at the same time sitting in bouncy seats. When he can be there, my husband and I work together. During middle-of-the-night feedings, we'd both be up feeding. I now bathe my twins together, too. I used to just do one at a time while my husband entertained the other.
Twins are great, but they are double the work. The first year is difficult, but it does get better and easier!
Mom to 21-month-old twins